Sean Carroll - Personal Leadership Speaker, Coach and Author

Sharing Gratitude for 2011

This was truly an amazing year. 

Actually, I said the same thing last year, and the year before that. Once I learned the profound impact of having an "attitude of gratitude", I really make a strong effort to always look for the things that I'm grateful for.

While this past year was filled with lots of incredible things. 2011, like every year before it, had its share of challenges for me as I'm sure it did for you. The blessing for me is that today I can look back at those challenges and be grateful that they happened, even though at the time I may not have felt that way. 

In particular, this year I am most grateful for the things I learned about myself. I learned more about what fits me. I learned more about my passions. I discovered my inner athletic potential. I learned more about the kind of people that I want to surround myself with. I learned more about what makes me laugh, and what makes me cry. This knowledge is priceless.

 I made many mistakes, that taught me a lot. I made a lot of right decisions, that led to some great opportunities, and most importantly of all, I was able to help more people this year than ever before, and that makes me happy. 

As we roll into 2012, I have set lofty goals for myself. Have you? 

Most of you know that I don't ever set new years resolutions. They don't work. I set goals. Then I set up action plans so I can achieve those goals. Some of these goals include running a half marathon and a full marathon, putting on my own live events for my business, and learning to tap dance.

I believe the reason I remain so optimistic about the days ahead, is my commitment to staying grateful. Granted, some days are better than others, and I do NOT practice this perfectly. You don't need to be perfect. Just stay committed.

I want to personally thank each of you for your support in 2011, and extend my support so that you make 2012 your best year ever.

Thanks for reading, and as always I welcome your comments.

Photo Credit:  Premkumar_Sparkcrews

Trusting Our Instincts

Have you ever wrestled with a decision for days or maybe even months? You know that feeling you get somewhere near your midsection that seems to be directing you before you even have to make this decision?

Do you listen to this feeling?  This feeling is the symptom of our instincts speaking to us.

I'm not talking about just thoughts, beliefs, or opinions. These are fleeting and can change rapidly. In fact, our own beliefs and thoughts can often get in our way, because they need to be "reprogrammed" sometimes.

I'm talking about that gut level feeling that is unmistakable. 

As a personal leadership speaker and coach, I strive to help people find their inner voice and their inner power, and use them! I am passionate about empowering others to create their own destiny. I truly believe that when we focus on what we want and why we want it, we can achieve anything. There are specific strategies and mindsets on which I coach people, but there is something I can't teach or coach.

Your instincts. Your gut feelings.

Today, I proved to myself yet again that my first "gut feeling" is almost always correct. No matter how much I want it to be wrong sometimes, my instincts are placed within me by the Universe for a reason. I believe there is something greater than myself "nudging" me in the right direction. It's up to me whether or not I listen.

I don't always listen. Somestimes I don't listen at all, and other times, like today, it takes several months of feeling like I am jamming a square peg in a round hole before finally surrendering to what I knew instinctively was the right decision all along.

I am grateful today that I don't need to be perfect to still be growing. I don't need to "Get it right" all the time. I don't need to beat myself up for not listening to my instincts before. Instead, I can just learn from this experience, focus on the positive, and move forward.

The biggest lesson from today for me? When my gut is speaking. I should pay close attention. I hope you will to.

Thanks for reading. As always, I welcome your comments.

Would Someone Trade You for Your Challenges?

I've seen a troubling trend on Facebook lately where folks are sharing some of the challenges that they are encountering on a day to day basis. This act alone is not troubling, but there have been several instances lately where the post was followed by the initials "FML"

Being somewhat new to "texting language" I had to actually look up what this stood for. Sadly, I found that it stands for "F#$@ My Life"

Really? 

Hey listen, we all have those days where people, places and things are just not cooperating with us, or so it seems, and we're feeling like nothing is going right. It happens. It's called life. I'm not here to say that sometimes it isn't ok for us to be upset at circumstances. That's human. 

However when I see someone post "FML" I am prompted to ask them if they REALLY mean what they say.

Basically by typing that, while it may seem like a simple way of expressing frustration, it actually may have a very discouraging effect on those that are watching you. For example, I read a post from someone last week about how they were going in for major cancer surgery, and had a car accident in the SAME WEEK! 

Within 24 hours, I saw someone posting "FML" because they had....are you ready for this??? A FLAT TIRE!

That's right. A flat tire...this was enough to prompt someone to type letters which are sending the message that they hate their life. That's just a shame.

Am I overreacting? Maybe. But I've learned over the years that words DO matter. My attitude DOES matter. And by choosing to shift my perspective, I can find the positive in anything if I choose to.

So next time I'm tempted to complain, or heaven forbid type "FML", I need to ask myself if someone would trade places with me in a heartbeat!

Would the person having major cancer surgery trade their day for the flat tire? Would someone who is long term unemployed right now trade my challenges that I'm having on the job? Would someone who just had their car repossesed trade with my sitting in traffic. Perhaps yes, or perhaps no. 

All I am saying is before we react in a manner which may send out more negative energy into the world, let's take a moment to reflect on the things in life for which we ARE grateful.

It's been said "Happiness is not having what you want, but wanting what you have"

Idealistic? Maybe...but I know I have a choice in perspective.

Thanks for reading.

Pleass add your comments below. I always welcome good dialogue.

Photo Credit: Cakeobsessed

Going from "Someday" to "Why Not Now"

Life will never be the same.

I remember sitting in a restaurant in midtown Manhattan last June having dinner after a rehearsal at Carnegie Hall with my wife Tanya. We were enjoying a nice moment in a neighborhood bistro, and talking about the “what ifs” in our life.

One of our big “what ifs” was living in New York City. Did we want to do it? Could we do it? Would we like it? Could we afford it? 

Those types questions didn’t last long as both of us subscribe to the belief that we can do anything we want if we are willing to do the work to get there. So, the conversation turned from “what if” to “when?” then “how?”

 Fast forward 9 months to yesterday. I went to the New Jersey apartment for one final time. This time, the purpose of my visit was to complete the sale of both of our cars!

I’m not exactly sure why, but after the buyer of my wife’s car drove me to the train station to return to my new home, I felt sad, and actually felt a little bit like I was completely vulnerable. The feelings came suddenly, as I realized that the cars have been in our life for the last 10 years, and represented a sense of security that I could “always go back” to the apartment and visit the old life anytime I wanted.

Now that security blanket is gone.

Granted, I could buy a car anytime, or even rent one. It wasn’t about the car. It was what  it represented. I realized as I boarded the train that we had cut ties with the last bridge to “safety” of our old and still very familiar life.  Now, we had no physical ties to New Jersey anymore, and this “someday we’ll try living in New York” was now very clearly a NOW phenomenon.

I am so very grateful for this incredible opportunity. I’ve had moments where I just can’t believe we actually did it and went through with it. I’ve had moments of fear, moments of  uncertainty, and plenty of moments of joy and excitement. In other words...I feel human. 

My encouragement for you today is that if there is something in your life that you are planning to do “someday”, put a plan in place, do your research, figure out what needs to happen to make it a reality and then DO IT! Don’t wait! Anything is possible in your life if you really want it, and are willing to take the necessary steps to get there.

Thanks for reading!

 

 I welcome your comments. Please join the dialogue by clicking the small “comments” link below. 

Photo Credit: thekeithhall

Keeping it Simple

"Life is Full of Simple Pleasures"

We've all heard that phrase numerous times I'm sure. Today, I got yet another reminder of how complicated I can make things sometimes, and how simple most things really are.

Most of you know I've recently moved to New York City, which can be a pretty fast paced, and complicated place.

After my lunch appointment, I decided to get off the bus one stop early and head into an office supply store to pick up a few items. My first item was simple. I needed a ream of paper. Check.

My second item I thought was simple, but I wandered around the store for 10 minutes looking for it. Finally, an associate came up to me and must have sensed my bewilderment as he asked "Are you ok sir? Can I help you find something?"

Normally in this situation I'd say "No thanks..I'm good". But today I decided to humble myself and admit I was completely clueless as to where to find this elusive item.

He asked me what I was looking for and I said the following:

"Well you see, I have this Samsonite leather pad that folds open and closed, and I need the loose sheets of paper that you stick on the inside and slide into a pouch...er um, well they're not loose sheets of paper, but a stack of paper, with a hard cardboard backing to them that slides into a pouch: ***BREATH** 

The associate said, "I know exactly what you mean". I continued by saying, "Really! Awesome! I don't know what they call those things, but I'm glad you understood"

He walked me over to the item and there it was!! He handed it to me and politely said "It's called a writing pad"

OHHHHH!!! A writing pad. Geez. Why could I not think of calling it that? Probably, because I was thinking too much. 

The associate smiled, and I thanked him for his help. He could tell I really needed this today.

The takeaway from this experience?? 

Keep it Simple.

If I just stay out of my own way, and do the next right thing everything will work out just fine.

To illustrate this point. I will be keeping this article simple, and NOT adding a photo for today. :)

Thanks for reading!

Happiness Leads to Success

"Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be"

 - Abraham Lincoln

I remember the first time I read that quote. I was not in a good place mentally, and thought to myself "How can I be happy when I have all of these things happening to ME?"

What I didn't realize then is that happiness is not something that I achieve when things in my life line up the way I think they should be. No, happiness I have come to learn is an "inside job"

Abe Lincoln articulated so beautifully the concept that took me years to understand.

I can choose to be happy!

The idea is to be grateful for what I have, and not upset over what I don't have. It's to celebrate the things in my life that bring joy, and looking at the setbacks as opportunities. Most importantly for me, it's learning to accept things I cannot change, and look for the opportunity to learn and grow in every challenge, instead of focusing on how terrible whatever is happening to me really is.

Easier said than done? DEFINITELY. But I am willing to admit that it's a work in progress for me. Every time I go through a struggle using this approach of choosing happiness, I find that not only do I feel better, but I am able to work through it with dignity and grace. I'm not perfect, and neither are you, but we can grow in small steps with this philosophy.

I'm not suggesting that we float through life pretending everything is OK when we are in a terrible circumstance, but we CAN approach each day as a fresh opportunity to change our perspective, one little piece at a time.

Over time, this approach to challenges becomes a habit, much like brushing your teeth. You all know people like this in your life that have overcome tremendous adversity, but never complain, never whine, or never look for sympathy. They just accept the situation, decide to be happy, and work through whatever challenge it is, because that's all they can control. I always want to be remembered as one of "those" people. That means I would be following my own advice (and reading my own blog) :)

If these benefits aren't enough, Success Magazine interviewed Harvard University faculty member Shawn Achor, who researched this topic and found that happiness leads to success, not the other way around. Biologically, these positive feelings trigger the release of dopamine into our system, which causes our brains to work at their peak performance.

Similar studies have also shown that staying in this state of mind for long periods of time actually strengthens the immune system, by reducing the stress induced levels of certain hormones in our body. So it is true that happier people are healthier people.

Thanks for reading!

 Photo Credit: Michael Francis McCarthy